A spoonful of crystal helps the prostitute go down

For those of you who haven't yet gotten enough joy out of the Ted Haggard scandal hypocrisy. SUPERTELEVANGELISTIC SEX-AND-DRUGS PSYCHOSIS Parody of "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" (Sherman/Sherman) Lyrics by M. Spaff Sumsion PERFORMED BY ROBERT LUND Listen or Download MP3 (1.8 MB) I used to be a master of the anti-gay crusade Until a butch disaster blew my pastor masquerade But if it's true I'm pounding more than pulpits, don't blame me It's 'cause I caught my hooker-tweaker-stud's infirmity It's Supertelevangelistic sex-and-drugs psychosis Worse than plague and bird flu crossed with osteoporosis We were playing doctor and he gave this diagnosis: Supertelevangelistic sex-and-drugs psychosis Umm Haggard Bakker Swaggart umm Tammy Faye Umm Haggard Bakker Swaggart umm Tammy Faye I found the perfect therapist - the kind that gives massage I like to drive my Escort and I park in his garage I swear he only serves me crank when all his Coke is gone And then he helps me straighten out my Peter, James, and John Blame Supertelevangelistic sex-and-drugs psychosis That's my greatest guilty pleasure next to Guns N' Roses Good thing there's no ban on it in all the books of Moses Supertelevangelistic sex-and-drugs psychosis Umm Haggard Bakker Swaggart umm Tammy Faye Umm Haggard Bakker Swaggart umm Tammy Faye It seems all pious public figures bugger on the sly But Jesus loved republicans and sinners; so must I Say "Holy moley, Mister Foley! That boy's underage!" But I believe the congressman has turned another page Oh! Supertelevangelistic sex-and-drugs psychosis Next time, better cut me off at handshakes and Mimosas No more meth or men for me - at least in overdoses! Supertelevangelistic sex-and-drugs psychosis! (Just a spoonful of crystal helps the prostitute go down...) ..